Balancing Parenthood and Career: A Working Mother’s Journey

When my newly wedded husband and I moved into our New York City apartment in January 2019, I found myself racing to the Duane Reade across the street to buy a pregnancy test. Alone in our new home while my husband was at work, I learned I was expecting our first child. A whirlwind of emotions—terror and excitement—washed over me as I contemplated how we would fit into our one-bedroom apartment as a small family. But one question loomed larger than the rest: How would I juggle being a parent with my career in the media industry?

Fast forward to today, and I’m now a mother of three, with another on the way. The ability to work remotely has been a game-changer, allowing me to maintain my career while navigating the complexities of motherhood. Currently, I go into the office two days a week, but the balancing act remains challenging. With the help of a nanny and daycare, we manage, but I often worry about the possibility of being forced back into the office full-time.

The Impact of Remote Work on Working Mothers

For many working mothers, remote work has been the missing key to maintaining a career while raising children. The pandemic provided a unique opportunity to experience the benefits of working from home, which proved invaluable for keeping us in the workforce. In a country with limited maternity leave, unaffordable childcare, and persistent pay inequality, remote work has emerged as a necessary safeguard. It allows mothers to stay employed without sacrificing their roles as caregivers. This isn’t about asking for special treatment; it’s about ensuring equal access to opportunity.

As return-to-office mandates rise, I find myself increasingly anxious about losing this vital workplace right. The thought of being forced to choose between my career and my family responsibilities is daunting.

The Struggles of New Parenthood

When my maternity leave ended in February 2020, I left my four-month-old daughter, Giordana, at home with a nanny for the first time. The commute from our Long Island apartment to Midtown Manhattan took over an hour, and while I was excited to re-enter the workforce, my thoughts were consumed with worries about my daughter. The emotional toll of leaving her at home affected my mental well-being and my ability to be a good mother. I often returned home mentally and physically drained, with little energy left to engage with my child.

Childcare became a significant issue. Not only was it expensive, but my part-time nanny couldn’t always be there. I found myself relying on my mother, who had a flexible schedule, to help out. The stress rippled across generations, highlighting the challenges many families face.

A Shift in Perspective

During this tumultuous time, I had a heart-to-heart with my husband, who works full-time in Manhattan. I broached the idea of quitting my job to freelance and care for our daughter full-time. While he understood my perspective, he was understandably anxious about taking on the entire financial burden of our family.

Then, just days later, my company announced a shift to remote work due to the pandemic. This unexpected change saved my sanity and my career. Suddenly, I could be home with Giordana during her formative months. I was busier than ever at work, but I could also feed her, change her diapers, and participate in her bedtime routine.

The Hybrid Work Model

Now, five years later, I’m a mother of three and pregnant with our fourth. In August 2022, my company implemented a two-day-a-week in-office mandate. I’m grateful for the hybrid model that allows me to work from home three days a week. This flexibility enables me to pick up my kids from school, take them to doctor appointments, and be present for school events. It’s about being physically present and able to ask them about their day before the chaos of bedtime.

However, every HR email that pops into my inbox makes my stomach drop. I worry it will be a message about a full-time return-to-office mandate that would force me to choose between my career and my family.

The Broader Implications for Working Mothers

Mothers facing full-time return-to-office mandates often find themselves at a crossroads: continue working full-time and pay for childcare or quit the workforce to raise their children. These choices are familiar to many women who worked before COVID. The pandemic highlighted how inflexibility can cut both ways, with employment among working mothers plummeting during this time. According to the Pew Research Center, 2.4 million women left the workforce from February 2020 to 2021, compared to 1.8 million men.

Fortunately, workplace flexibility has helped reverse this trend. The US Department of Labor reported that in February 2024, there were more working mothers than before the pandemic. Experts like Nicholas Bloom from Stanford University emphasize that protecting the right to work from home is crucial for keeping women in the workforce.

Advocating for Remote Work

While I’m fortunate that my company has adopted a hybrid approach, I believe more organizations should allow women to work from home entirely. The benefits I’ve experienced—both for my mental health and for the ability to raise my children—are unparalleled. Denying remote work to mothers should be viewed as indirect discrimination, as women typically bear the burden of caregiving.

Why should I have to choose between being present for my children and having a fulfilling career? Ultimately, remote work is not just a perk; it’s a necessary shift toward creating a more equitable work environment for mothers.

As I navigate this journey, I remain hopeful that the lessons learned during the pandemic will lead to lasting changes in workplace policies, allowing mothers like me to thrive both at home and in our careers.